Just going through my old emails and realised I meant to reply to this...

Good concept, I like the idea, a couple of improvements:
  • you want a capital T for Tower of London, and possibly also a capital B for Beefeater?  And practise, not practice.
  • You have the word "pubs" in there three times, which feels a bit repetitive.  Trying to think of a good alternative. The watering holes of Whitby??
"Tower Ravens hale from deepest darkest London, where we practise in the shadow of the Tower of London. Accompanied by our wayward Beefeater we perform rapper sword dancing with speed and attitude. Most noted for our energy, agility and love of pubs we're looking forward to hitting the streets of Whitby hard!  Look out for us at our workshops, dance spots and in the many drinking establishments Whitby has to offer."

The double London is still a little clunky, but I don't see a way round that.  "Drinking establishments" feels a bit odd too - if anybody can come up with a better way to finish, please say so!

As regards photos, there are some really lovely good quality ones from the official photographers at Sidmouth last summer - I wonder if we could use one of those?  There are some nice ones of a spin that give a sense of movement, which I think are great examples of what Ravens is about.

Rachel


On Mon, 4 Mar 2019 at 13:46, Becky Such <rebeccasuch@hotmail.com> wrote:
Hello all,

We need a Whitby bio of max of 100 words by the end of March so thought I'd get the ball rolling. Would people please give this a read and suggest improvements/completely new version.

We also need a photo. Ideally one where we look awesome and aren't doing anything weird with our hands or feet.

Tower Ravens hale from deepest darkest London, where we practice in the shadow of the tower of London. Accompanied by our wayward beefeater we perform rapper sword dancing with speed and attitude. Most noted for our energy, agility and love of pubs we're looking forward to hitting the streets and pubs of Whitby hard!  Look out for us at some of our workshops, dance spots and in the many pubs.

Thanks,
Becky
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